It goes without saying that each human on this planet experiences reasonable and rational emotional pain and suffering at one point or another. This post is not to say you shouldn’t allow yourself to feel the emotions when shit happens and only strive to live in the ‘light’. There is growth through pain, and emotional pain isn’t always a punishment, just like emotional pleasure isn’t always a reward.
For example, grief is natural when a loved one is lost. When looked at from a broader perspective, grief is the process of emotionally detaching and moving on from something we’ve become attached to over time, and the root of all suffering is attachment. Not attaching ourselves to things and beings can be hard, especially when love is involved, but that’s why grieving is a process. It takes time to let go and move on without someone or something we’ve become so accustomed to. It’s a part of the human experience. Everybody dies, so don’t try and override your emotional body.
By allowing ourselves to feel the sadness, the grief, even anger when someone violates an aspect of us, this is how we clear our energy system to make way for newer experiences to come in. If we don’t look at our feelings when they come up, the emotion becomes stuck and creates an energetic block that can’t be cleared until we’ve felt our way through. By feeling the feels, we release them and make more room.
What I’m speaking about regarding using your emotions as a toolkit for manifestation, involves your attitude.
Your attitude will see you either overstaying your welcome in sadness, anger, and self-pity, or accepting the excruciating thing that has happened, allowing yourself to feel your feelings and acknowledge them through the difficult situation, and then continue forward with optimism.
For manifestation, victim mentality is only going to keep you trapped in a cycle where you will perpetually keep being a victim. There is no space for victim mentality with manifestation aspirations. If you want to begin living with a better level of wellbeing, becoming accountable for our responses and reactions and how we interpret our respective experiences is a priority.
I used to have to remind myself a lot that the world doesn’t revolve around me and that nothing anyone does is because of me. In general, people are just living their lives for themselves, and their decision had nothing to do with you. Most of the time, people aren’t doing anything TO us, but we can get upset if they are not behaving the way we want them to. They’re not doing anything ‘wrong’ by not behaving the way you want them to, given that it’s not a breach of trust with an agreement that had been made before.
I would feel frustration or insecurity when I was younger if people weren’t doing what I wanted them to. Just because I felt frustration doesn’t mean they were wrong. It means I had to come to a higher place of understanding about what I could reasonably expect from people, and where I was out of line to expect people to just bow to my every demand.
I had a friend who had not yet reached this understanding within herself regarding the people around her, and she would get upset when they weren’t doing what she wanted to, not realising her expectations were way out of proportion and unreasonable. I would attempt to guide her to see where she may not be taking accountability for her emotions, but nothing ever changed. Eventually, her patterns began affecting our relationship, and when it got to the point where I spent two hours shaking off agitation after a visit from her, I needed to step back from the friendship to process what had come up for me.
The next time my friend wanted to see me, I expressed that something had come up for me and that I needed time to process it before expressing to her because I valued the friendship. Straightaway, she demanded that I speak then and there. I was not ready to speak and so took space to reflect, and when I was ready a week later, I reached out and asked her to let me know when it was convenient for her to connect as I was ready to have the conversation.
My friend immediately blew up and said I should have spoken before and that she didn’t know if she wanted to be friends with me anymore because she didn’t have time for my bullshit. She then said: “you offended me for no reason,” and at that point, I saw I would not be able to express anything at any time in any way that would allow me to honour myself because being offended is an activity she chose to do, and she would feel offended anyway regardless of how I did it. I then withdrew entirely from the connection.
I could not safely communicate with this person and take the time I needed to deal with my process in the way I needed to. She wanted everything done her way and would get offended and blame other people when they weren’t responding the way she wanted to.
She couldn’t see that she was under the control of her emotions, which then determined her attitude, which was rather negative. She couldn’t see that her misery was her own choice and that she was lonely because of how she continuously chose to absorb her emotions. She would not sit with her emotions as they came up and ask herself where she could rewire her mind so that she could achieve more peace within. She was always getting thrown off balance by other people’s choices for themselves, and then blamed everyone else when they didn’t want to keep company with her negativity and demands anymore.
Is This New or Trapped Old Emotions?
Our thoughts and our emotions work hand-in-hand for manifestation. When a situation unfolds that triggers emotions, we know we’re feeling something, and unconsciously, we can attach the feeling to whatever has unfolded in front of us. We don’t realise that the feeling that has been triggered has been there all along, and probably originated when we were children, and things happened that were too big for us to understand. The experiences became part of our patterning and subconscious beliefs as a result. What happens in our childhood determines who we are as adults.
Often, when we feel triggered, and we feel intense emotions in response to what has happened, it’s usually a case of not having cleared emotions that were already stuck from something before and had been building up, which is why we can have a disproportionate reaction to something seemingly small.
When you can step back, process, and respond rather than feel the emotional charges and impulsively react, then you can begin to direct your experiences consciously.
You can totally adjust your attitude and approach what’s unfolding with a sense of self-control and more maturity.
For manifestation, with regards to which emotions you choose to frequent most often, this determines what level you vibrate at energetically. And depending on the level you’re ‘vibing’ at, this will determine the experiences you are pulling into your experience.
At the lower, or slower end of emotional frequencies, we have:
- and boredom.
- and appreciation.
If you think about how the lower frequency emotions feel, you will notice it’s quite a contractive experience, where your whole body can get tense, tight and stiff, and even your breath is affected. On the other end of the spectrum if you think about love and appreciation and the feeling of freedom, it’s an expansive experience, and our bodies can relax, loosen, and flow. We can breathe easy.
As mentioned before, there have been scientific experiments that have proven that lower frequency ‘negative’ emotions create a contraction within our DNA, and our DNA can’t function normally. But when higher frequency emotions are present, our DNA relaxes, and we attract more pleasant experiences. I have a blog coming up soon that explains how we invite experiences based on our emotions, which discusses the electromagnetic qualities of human beings, but for now, you have some choices to make about what kind of experiences you’d rather have with the emotions you’re choosing to dwell in.
Happy people tend to go with the flow and don’t get thrown off center by much for long, while unhappy people are often disgruntled over everything anyone ever does for longer than necessary. They’re living in low frequencies for prolonged amounts of time, attracting low vibing experiences while the happy people enjoy most of what life brings them because they have a much more productive attitude towards life.
Negative thoughts + bad vibes = sucky experiences.
Optimistic thoughts + good vibes = awesomeness!
I have daily practices you can use as tools to set the tone for your day. I do these practices in the morning before leaving the house, and my day goes much smoother than if I leave the house without doing them.
I find the best way to center myself in a good vibe for the day is to sit and consciously give thanks for the people, joy, safety, and resources I have in my life. I give thanks and feel appreciation in my heart for each aspect I’m giving thanks for. I often feel a warm pulse in my “heart space” when I am especially appreciative of an aspect of my life. This is the emotional frequency wave being sent out to attract more experiences to be appreciative for.
2) I find another great way to shift out of negative energy quickly is to get outside in nature and move my body. I love going for walks on the mountainside, and rollerskating along the cycle path. Dancing to vibey music is also amazing! Moving our bodies causes energy to shift through our breath and also hacks our emotions by flooding our system with happiness hormones, leaving us feeling optimistic and energised.
3) Eating clean and natural food is also another way to raise your vibration over the long term. Think about when you’re exercising and eating healthily. How do you feel? I know I feel lighter all round. My mood is great, my energy levels are buoyant, my mind works better, and my body also feels lighter. This is a higher vibrational energy state which attracts more high vibrational experiences!
So the more you consciously incorporate cleaner foods, body movement, and mindfulness practices such as setting appreciation as your mood for the day, and choosing what thoughts you allow to run through your mind, the better and better your days are going to get.
If you need help setting a daily practice that works for you, let’s work together. I have some great tools to individualise for you to get you going!
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I can assist you in learning to:
*Raise your vibration, expand your consciousness, or manifest your desires.
*Transform and become a conscious creator and choice maker.
*Shift through your self-limiting beliefs and step into a fuller, more vibrant version of yourself, and live your happiest, healthiest, wealthiest, best life.