Getting Personal About Purging
Someone asked me yesterday how I decide on a topic to write about because my words always seem to synchronise with where they are at in their life. My answer was quite simply that each week I choose to write about what I am sitting with in my life at the time of writing.
I have a list of subjects I want to write about in case I am ever stuck for something to pour out and pay forward, but for the most part, either inspiration hits me, or a process of my own is unfolding and I am remembering the tools and skills I have learned along the way to navigate my way through it.
This week, I’m in a state of emotional purging. It always begins the same way: my life is in a wonderful space and I am building a better and better life for myself daily. I am dedicated and committed to my personal evolution and being the best person I can be. I like who I am, respect who I am, and love myself. I have everything I need and want. I have amazing people in my life. I am busy and my life is full. I take things in my stride, come what may.
In the gaps between all the doing and building of my life, there are moments of silence, where if I stop doing long enough, I can feel there is pain pushing to come out. I feel emotionally clogged and foggy if I don’t give into the emotional release that wants to happen. Sometimes I am in a space where I can allow the emotions to overflow through tears then and there. I allow myself to feast on my pain and really sob it all out as it comes up. Other times, when I am extremely busy and need to keep my shit together to ensure my life is staying on track, I put the feels and cries away for later. Sometimes I don’t get to it for weeks. When this happens I start to feel disproportionately about many things that come up. Frustration, irritation at little things.
And so I know to sit to honour the feels that want to be acknowledged by attempting to drop into them and embrace them. I know when I’ve allowed them out, I will feel all the clearer, brighter, and more present. On this occasion, my attempts to drop in proved unsuccessful, although I could feel the pain pushing to come out. Still, there was resistance finding it.
I have experienced what happens next a few times. When you are filled to the brim and need to make space, your being forces a purge of what’s not serving you anymore. Whether it’s in life or with regards to emotions. I wake up crying and sobbing like a baby. The emotional excess purges itself while I am asleep playing out in dream experiences that bring me to tears. I find the intelligence of our beings to innately organise a purge of the over flow of energy through our sleep to be remarkable, and fully believe that not only crying in dreams is our being’s way of regulating release, but also through orgasms during sleep state for both men and women when our creative energy has filled us to capacity and we’re not consciously allowing it out.
The purging of excess energy and emotions can be done consciously through exercise, creativity, and a multitude of self expressions. But when ignored or suppressed, not only are we in danger of reacting disproportionately to something that comes up in the moment that isn’t all that worthy of the dramatic scene, but we can run into the obstacle of not making way for new emotional experiences to flow in because we’re still too clogged with old stuff. The purging needs to happen.
Allow yourself the purges at the soonest opportunity. Sometimes it lasts five minutes. Other times, when we’ve suppressed them for too long, it can last for weeks/months/years, and can be confused as a chronic depression, when it actually could be reframed as a decompression. Decompressing from the pressure of a lifetime of stuck emotions that haven’t been released. I’m not saying depression isn’t a thing… I’m just saying, if the general state of your life is happy, and there’s nothing really wrong, perhaps you just need to purge. It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong, just that a good cry may be needed regardless of whether you’re male or female.
Embracing cycles of purging is also paramount as part of the emotional work that needs to be done along the path to your best life. Moving through the tough stuff that you’ve kept hidden away for years is going to clear a path to your most authentic self, should you choose to take your pain and turn it into something constructive and productive.
While I do teach high frequency living and choosing an optimistic outlook with higher frequency emotions being your default, facing your shadow emotions (guilt, shame, and fears from ages ago now that you’re old enough to unpack it rationally) is going to release you from the prisons of your previous pains and traumas. This will allow you to process your triggers much differently, with a better understanding and compassion towards yourself and situations. From there the path widens to heightened awareness of how we’re choosing to experience the stuff that comes up in the moment with much less over reactions as a result, once you’ve cleared feeling it all out.
So the next time you feel a cry stuck in you, or a purge wanting to unfold, take yourself to your private space and allow yourself to be a messy, blubbery human, and sob your little heart out. It’s healthy. I do feel purges are private moments though so no need to involve everyone or anyone you know. It’s your purge, and not everyone will have the capacity or be available for something that could be a totally regular and normal self soothing experience. Our emotions are after all our own responsibility, and dumping and downloading on others who have their own stuff going on can lead to co-dependent, unhealthy behaviour. This is also how you lose your power in the fastest way possible.
Much like phoning a friend to download the draining experience you just had: you transfer that draining experience onto whoever you point it toward. There are multiple practices you can add to your toolkit to get yourself through your triggers. It doesn’t need to become someone else’s problem to sit and listen to.
Purge the energy through an active meditation… there are so many available on youtube. Osho’s ‘no mind’ one is one I’ve used many times to consciously release the energy of emotionally charged situations instead of transferring the energy onto a family member or friend.
These are all healthy tools to equip yourself with to become a more emotionally mature and responsible human. Let me know if you need any guidance while you’re navigating your purges and releases. I can help you.
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