Current State of Affairs
You might not know this, but I have a full-time day job from Monday to Friday from 9-5. I run the house I live in as a guesthouse, and this blog is my passion project so that I feel I am living with some purpose. I play sport twice a week and work on my blog in the evenings, and weekends are spent creating visual content and seeing people I vibe with.
When I started this blog, I didn’t have a job, or this house to host people from around the world, or anything really. A chasm between the old and the new after a major upgrade vibrationally. A waiting room before what was to come landed in my reality.
I had time and space to dig deep into my being and sing the words out, albeit through a keyboard. The words I wrote came from my heart, and I could flow from one moment to the next. I slept late every day, only got up when it was warm enough, took time preparing nutritious meals, and writing from my heart with the hours that filled my days. I was in flow. In my right brain. My feminine.
That was exactly a year ago. Now, my life is so full, and I seem to have caught myself in ‘doing’ mode. I have so much to do that when there’s a space in my time, I find other things to do. Instead of just allowing myself to be. I’m in exactly the opposite mode of where I was one year ago.
I don’t even have a gap to cook food, and now enjoy the convenience of health meals through a deli that I pop past and pick up every day. It saves me time shopping for groceries, cooking, and washing dishes after. On the weekend, I’ll make myself food. Generally, now I find that eating takes up an unreasonable amount of time. As does the preparation of it, and the cleaning up after.
And I’m not accessing deep space within me to write from my heart as a result. I’m in my mind about my blog. Banging away at my keyboard, churning out posts about science. Logic. Left brain. My inner Masculine. Some of you are enjoying it. Regardless… I seem to be in non-stop action mode. My masculine is in overdrive.
Wanna know how bad it is right now?
The other day, I managed to spontaneously end up in a tan can for five minutes, and do you think I could stand still, and just be in the warmth for five short minutes? No. I had to make the most of my free time and get squats in. Naked. In the tan can. There I was squatting up and down. And then off I dashed to the next task on my to-do list. After I put my clothes back on.
I feel this moment is a perfect opportunity for me to remind myself, as well as you, to allow yourself to just stop. And breathe. And be. For only five minutes. You don’t have to be doing something every minute of the day.
When was the last time you allowed yourself to ‘do’ nothing, and just ‘be’ entirely with yourself, inside your body, as a being? Not watching TV or with your attention engaged in something that distracts you from your inner world… but really spending quality time with yourself? Checking in with how you’re doing and feeling into what you need in that moment as a human, not a taskmaster.
Can we all just take a moment to check in with ourselves about how we’re doing with all the chaos fling around this week? And give yourself a break.
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